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MICHAEL JACKSON UNLEASHED!
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NEWS AND SHIT
A California jury found faded pop phenom Michael Jackson "not guilty" of ten charges stemming from allegations that he molested a 13-year-old cancer patient two years ago. When asked how he was going to celebrate, a jubilant Jackson squealed: "I'm going to Disneyland! And then, after picking up a vanload of hot dates, I'm going to Neverland!" Meanwhile, in Phnom Penh, Gary Glitter sits in the sweltering heat, shaking his head in disbelief.
Yer old pal Jerky got some ridiculous spam today, trying to sell me The Ultimate Baby Name Book. For only thirty dollars, they claimed, this handsomely bound tome -- containing "literally thousands" of baby names to choose from -- could be all mine. Here's a tip for anybody who might actually be tempted to shell out their Visa number for this crap: You want names? Open a friggin' phone book!
Jeff Taylor, founder of the popular online job search website Monster.com, is moving on to bigger and better things. Details are sketchy, but yer old pal Jerky's inside contacts can reveal that Taylor's new venture will likely cater to the nation's fastest-growing economic demographic. He's thinking of calling it SellYourBloodOnline.com. Another website Taylor is rumored to have in the works is PlutoPrank.com, where he will concentrate on helping his fellow webtrepreneurs find new, more insidious ways to give false hope to New Economy victims the world over... while profiting handsomely!
This is one of the better online optical illusions I've yet to come across. Thanks to our old pal ACD for sending it.
Finally, another Triumph the Insult Comic Dog bit that's worthy of the legend! This time, the plastic hand-puppet takes on the freaks, geeks, losers and gearboxes loitering outside the courthouse waiting for the Michael Jackson trial verdict.
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Yer old pal Jerky's Words of Wisdom #274:
Death to slogans!
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Send all Jokes, Letters and other stuff to Jerky:
jerkyleboeuf@gmail.com
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