|
|
SMILE AND WAVE
|
LYNCHING RECONSIDERED
You might think that if there was one subject on which the United States Senate could speak with a unanimous, nonpartisan voice, it would be lynching. So when Senator Mary Landrieu (D-La) proposed a resolution that the Senate apologize for more than a century of failure to enact anti-lynching legislation -- a century during which nearly five thousand people were hanged or burned by vigilante mobs -- she probably expected most, if not all, of her fellow Senators to sign on.
In the end, one-sixth did not. Senate majority leader Bill Frist (R-Cat killer) even went so far as to deny repeated requests for a roll call vote on the non-binding resolution. This gave 15 of Frist's fellow Republican Senators cover, and allowed them to register their disapproval without giving Democrats video footage of them voting "nay" because it might piss off some voters in their Klan-rich constituencies.
Now, yer old pal Jerky is nothing if not thoughtful. When I encounter allegedly intelligent people who are on the opposite side of an issue that seems perfectly obvious and clear-cut to me, I do my utmost to try and understand their point of view. After all, 15 US Senators (and a big chunk of the unreconstructed Deep South) can't all be wrong! So I gave this issue some serious thought, and in so doing came up with…
The TOP 13 NICE THINGS about LYNCHING!
13. Helps foster community spirit.
12. Boosts rope sales.
11. Builds character in young witnesses.
10. Freaks out sissy liberals.
9. Offers town elders a chance to show off their knot-tying skills.
8. Royalties from postcard sales.
7. Scarier than the scariest horror movie you'll ever see.
6. Helps reduce law enforcement budget by cutting out the middle man.
5. Provides misanthropes with irrefutable proof that humans are scum.
4. Notorious "hangin' tree" equals big tourist dollars.
3. Promotes traditional Heartland vigilante values.
2. The smell of burning hair, roast pork and kerosene.
1. The look in their eyes just before they die.
*** **** ***
Yer old pal Jerky's Words of Wisdom #276:
The bottom line is that "the bottom line" isn't always the bottom line.
|
|
Send all Jokes, Letters and other stuff to Jerky:
jerkyleboeuf@gmail.com
|
|
|
