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DERELICTION AND NEGLECT
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MINUTIA AND INCONSEQUENTIA
Gee… I wonder if this guy got the idea to "lie" about being tortured at Guantanamo Bay from an al Qaeda training manual?
Have you ever wondered: "Whatever became of 80's teen heart-throb Corey Haim?" Not really? Well then, by all means, don't bother clicking here for the most depressing celebrity interview you're likely to see all week. You're obviously way too cool to enjoy such schadenfreudal delights.
As long as we're on the topic of pathetic people named Corey, maybe now would be a good time to discuss Cory Williamson, the Spartansburg, South Carolina teen who stands accused of sexually assaulting two young girls, then mortally raping Princess the dog as her terrified owners watched. "He had his pants down and he was doing sexual activity with the dog like a man would do to a woman," claims a devastated Sylvia Jones. Princess died fourteen days after the horrific assault on her canine dignity. Her final days were not pleasant. "She couldn't even sit down," says Jones, adding: "Her bottom was swollen sore." Hopefully, yong master Williamson will get to experience this feeling himself, in the very near future.
If you thought that last story was awful, wait'll you get a load of this one. It involves a thirty-five year child-molesting spree, and thirty-six THOUSAND potential victims, in a trail of kiddy-diddling that spans across two continents. This Dean Arthur Schwartzmiller freak is the Wilt Fucking Chamberlain of child molestors. Let's hope the authorities can keep him down this time, unlike all those previous times when they let him go on to shack up with a fellow deviated prevert and work at such dream-jobs as coaching youth football.
You say you're a rich white Republican who supports the war in Iraq but can't get into the thick of it because all the choice frontline positions have been filled with Affirmative Action quota-monkeys? Well then, check out General J.C. Christian's Operation Yellow Elephant! Uncle Dick needs YOU to put the "sac" back in sacrifice!
Innocent Question #65692373: "Why were ten planes from a European ally denied emergency landing rights at a fully equipped and prepared U.S. Air Force base when they were in danger of crashing from lack of fuel?"
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Yer old pal Jerky's Words of Wisdom #278:
As long as you're grinding an ounce, you might as well grind a pound.
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Send all Jokes, Letters and other stuff to Jerky:
jerkyleboeuf@gmail.com
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