|
|
IMPEACHMENT ISN'T NEARLY CLOSE ENOUGH
|
The fact that 36 US House Representatives have signed on as sponsors or co-sponsors of H. Res 635, which would create a Select Committee to look into the grounds for recommending Preznit Dubya’s impeachment, is no reason to celebrate. Instead, the fact that 399 have yet to do so should be reason enough to take to the streets... something that will become a lot more difficult to organize if Big Media gets their way, and Net Neutrality is thrown to the pigs.
Hey, Gozno! Just because you and your boss dismiss the law on a daily basis, that doesn't mean you can unilaterally dismiss the lawsuits stemming from your administration's actions. Or maybe you can. Stranger things have happened in the last few years. It remains to be seen.
The mysterious suicide of a Texas oilman awaiting Senate confirmation as Navy secretary by Preznit Dubya?! How in the name of High Holy FUCK did I miss this story?!
So... what does A QUARTER BILLION TAXPAYER DOLLARS buy in Iraq these days? Not a whole fucking helluva lot, it turns out. On the other hand, for this administration, a 20:150 completion rate doesn't seem so terrible.
Here's a pageload of information about The Fellowship, a religious cult that has its eyes set on theocratic domination of the American government. Here's another great article about these dangerous, power-mad Jesus-freaks. They're both kind of old, but they're both very good.
Electronic voting already causing mass havoc in the 2006 mid-term elections? Oh well. I suppose it was impossible for anyone in power to have been able to foresee such a fortuitously confounding confluence of catastrophic collapses.
If you have a dog, you might want to send him out of the room or turn down the volume on this amazing video in which some sand, a steel plate and helaciously loud speaker are used to demonstrate the incredible shapes that sounds can make.
|
Send all Jokes, Letters and other stuff to Jerky:
jerkyleboeuf@gmail.com
|
|
|
JOKES!
|
Today's first joke was sent in by Wally!
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're getting married?"
"Yep!" "Do I know her?" "Nope!" "This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really." "Is she a good cook?" "Naw, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?" "Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
"Well then, is she good in bed?" "I don't know." "Why in the world do you want to marry her then?" "Because she can still drive!"
*** *** ***
Thanks to our old pal NASCARboy for sending in today's second joke.
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No," he replied, "Arthritis."
|
|
WORST JOKE OF THE DAY
|
Today's groaner was sent in by Javaid...
A guy walks into a bar and orders three whiskey sours, drinks them down BAM! BAM! BAM! Then he orders three more. The bartender's having a slow night and appreciates the business, but is also concerned.
"Hey buddy, slow down. What seems to be the problem?"
The guy answers, "I went on a week-long business trip, and had to leave my wife alone. I've had my suspicions about our next-door neighbour, so I hung a weight from the bottom of the bedspring just above a bowl of cream."
The bartender nods sympathetically and pours the guy another. "So you came home and found cream on the weight?"
The guy downs his fourth whiskey sour and says, "It's worse than that. The cream had been churned into butter."
|
|
THEY SAID IT!
|
"However much President George W. Bush's 'Freedom Agenda' asserted itself into US foreign policy in the wake of the Iraq invasion three years ago, traditional geopolitics -- and the realpolitik that goes with it -- is making a remarkably strong comeback."
- Jim Lobe examines the mass movement away from Preznit Dubya's doomed and blinkered foreign policy towards a less revolutionary, more accommodating stance as regards certain insane, monomaniacal dictators, a few of which we discussed in these very pages about a year ago.
*** **** ***
"I call this 'The Ranch' because it's where my 220 horses live."
- Here's a hilarious video clip of Conan O'Brien bragging up his "1992 Ford Taurus four-door sedan with a trunk" before showcasing it at a top-flite Mahnattan auto show.
|
|
ON THIS DAY
|
April 27
On this day in 1986, at 12:32am, Florida satellite TV worker John "Captain Midnight" MacDougall overrides HBO's airing of The Falcon and the Snowman to broadcast a protest message:
GOODEVENING HBO
FROM CAPTAIN MIDNIGHT
$12.95/MONTH?
NO WAY!
(SHOWTIME/MOVIE CHANNEL BEWARE)
It sure is nice to remember a time in America when a lone concerned citizen could use his power and position to advance a really good and worthy cause.
*** **** ***
On this day in 1997, disgruntled homo Andrew Cunanan begins his "Homogeddon" murder spree that will culminate with the July murder of fashion designer Gianni Versace.
*** **** ***
And, finally, it was on this day in 1999 that the first ever On This Day appeared in the Daily Dirt! Here is the text, in its entirety:
"On this day in 1921, the world's first motorcycle police patrols went on duty in London, England, thereby setting in motion the sequence of events which would ultimately lead to the creation of the CHiPs television series."
|
|
READER'S SOAPBOX!
|
Got a gripe? Pet peeve? Have your say in the Daily Dirt! Columns can pretty much be about anything, as long they meet the following criteria: 1) don't write shit that'll get us in trouble. 2) Keep it interesting. 3) Keep it short. 4) We don't edit your mistakes. Oh yeah! feel free to send a picture of yourself if you want.
TOPIC: THERMITE, SHMERMITE!
care of: J. Fame
Jerky; There is so much real corruption and important threats to civil liberties in the U.S it's a shame people waste their energies on such ludicrous nonsense as theories that the WTC towers were demolished by explosives.
Large, heavily laden and freshly fueled planes flew into them. It's remarkable that they didn't collapse immediately. When they did they fell down exactly as one would expect as the support for some 20,000 tonnes of material (the floors above the impacts) weakened and it fell - collapsing down on a structure not designed to resist such forces.
Of course it fell down and not sideways - it was damaged at the top (which fell where gravity pulled it) and not at the bottom from which it might have toppled.
Pictures of sheared metal prove nothing, assumming they aren't taken after people haven't used plasma torches to cut through to remove rubble it's certain that metal will shear at some point when up to 200,000 tonnes of falling debris presses on it.
While people have their attentions diverted by the silliest of theories the powers that be continue to plunder the national treasury, organise corrupt and un-reviewable elections and generally dance on the graves of the ambitions of working people.
They are serious about their work; people who run after childish phantoms of theories will never (and in the end may not deserve to - for their foolishness) successfully resist them.
- J. Fame
[You may be sincere, but your knee is jerking. - Jerky]
|
FIRST AMENDMENT ZONE / ASK JERKY!
|
Jerky; It’s really funny, Bush rejecting calls for a windfall profits tax on the record-breaking financial gains announced this week by ExxonMobil and Chevron, the administration’s pet subsidiaries, saying that the companies might voluntarily re-invest the profits in exploring alternative energy – just let the free market handle its own business, he chirped. The very same day he announced the need to provide federal subsidies and tax incentives for new refinery construction. Because, um, the big oil companies wouldn’t be able to afford them otherwise, being so hard-pressed for cash these days. So, um, the taxpayers need to fund the oil companies to do something profitable and easy, but we can trust them to do something harder and less profitable on their own. And in either case we need to give them more of our hard-earned savings, and not ask for them to contribute a penny back to the country that went to war for them twice in the last 15 years. Because if we don’t give more money to oil companies and billionaires, then their record-breaking profits and wealth gains will have been for naught. Simple. ACD
[Indeed. - Jerky]
*** **** ***
Dear Mr. Jerky... Don't you love the current hoopla over E85... the new ethanol gas? They are even blaming the current gas crisis over the fact that we are "switching" over to the new blend. GM is touting it's new flexible fuel pickup truck coming to a dealer near you! (Critics, of course, complain that they are only mentioning the trucks for the fuel tax credit.) I'm probably the only reader you have that currently drives a FFV (flexible fuel vehicle). And there is good reason for that... they don't sell E85 anywhere but in the midwest (There are only 200 ethanol pumps NATIONWIDE!) and your readers are smarter than I am. California has only one pump (located in San Diego) with public access. Ethanol... another crock of shit. Cheers, Andy S.
[The who with the what now? - Jerky]
*** **** ***
Oh geez, I have a high tolerance for stuff but this... has to be erased from my mind. I'm gonna pretend that the the good nun made the priest a special dark and milk chocolate enema with nuts thrown in for chunkiness. Now, if I can only get the coughing and gagging sounds out of my head. Any suggestions? D. (just D.)
[Nope. I warned you! - Jerky]
*** **** ***
Jerky; Think it would do any good to have golfers "blacklisted" when they gamble? All the other "sports" fine or bar them who do. Just a thought. ChasMur
[I could give a fuck about either golf or golfers. - Jerky]
*** **** ***
Jerky; Now we know the answer to the question: Whatever happened to Alfred E. Newman? YOPDMZ
[Yeah. So what are we going to do about it? - Jerky]
*** **** ***
Jaysus, Jerky, up the dosage of anti-depressents or something. I cried three different times checking out the myriad of links in your April 28, 2006 Filler Edition of the Dirt. As to the thermite evidence at the top, you scared the living shit out of me again. I was a cop for a couple of years in my youth, and the axiom, "Follow the money!" was beaten into our heads on a regular basis. With this in mind, I asked my friends at work on the afternoon of 9/11 who stood to profit from destroying the World Trade Center. Since that time, more and more evidence has been brought forward that convinces me that the only people that benefited from the destruction of that day were the terrorists and the Bush cabal (possibly the same group). The thermite vids go along way in putting the finishing touches on the case that the Towers were brought down from the inside, and not by a couple of planes. Thanks for the links. BTW, and IMHO, the filler editions are fine, especially while working through a block. An occasional, and well-written, rant should be sufficient for all of us fans. Let he who can write well every day, cast the first aspersion. You are still one of my heroes. SC
[Thanks for your kind words, SC. And cheer up! It's just a ride. - Jerky]
*** **** ***
Hey Jerky; What do you think of this information in toto? Goody
[I am a fan of Alex Jones. Not a devotee, not a believer... just a fan. He might bark up a few wrong trees every now and then, but I nevertheless admire his tenaciousness and showmanship, and I think he's got a far more accurate take on The Big Picture than anybody in the mainstream news media today. Also, I know for a fact that everything he's said so far is 100% true. I wrote about it all at the time, based on reports from entirely reputable sources. Cheers. - Jerky]
|
|
From Adam Cardiff UK : Is it STILL last week in the US Jerky?
|
From Andy : So I'm the only person that is even AWARE of the E85 scam? I don't believe it.
|
From SofaKing : The steel plate sand patterns kinda look like crop circles.
Very cool.
|
|
|
