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A CONVERSATION WITH MIKE MALLOY
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Last night, while struggling to update the perpetually behind-schedule Dirt, I decided to give my old pal Mike Malloy a call to see if I could cheer him up. He was on the radio at the time, as he always is between 10 PM and 1 AM on weekdays, and he sounded deeply upset about a number of issues which I probably don't have to be specific about, but which revolved around the ongoing conflict in Iraq, especially the release of certain disturbing details about an incident that has largely slipped under most people's radars: the massacre of 24 innocent civilians by rampaging U.S. Marines in the Iraqi city of Haditha, last year.
So anyway, I called in and was put on hold for a while, and by the time we were done chatting, it was time for yer old pal Jerky to go beddy-bye. Only, I hadn't finished the Dirt, yet! And the pills were starting to take effect! What to do?!
Hmmmm... how about just transcribing my conversation with Mike and running it in the Dirt, interview-style? Would that fly? Well... we're about to find out. Enjoy! - YOPJ
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MIKE MALLOY: Jerky, our "bureau chief at large", is on the phone. Hey Jerky.
YOPJ: Hi Mike, how you doing?
MM: I'm doing alright, how about you?
YOPJ: Oh, not too bad, all things considered.
MM: (laughing) Yeah, that had to sink in for a second. Not too bad, all things considered. Good GOD things are going to hell in a hand basket.
YOPJ: It's pretty… it's pretty incredible.
MM: I can't… I-I-I was saying in the last segment, I really don't know how to handle it anymore. I listen to my colleague and good friend Randi Rhodes during the day and I hear her saying the same thing. I hear people that I hang out with saying the same thing. Don't know how to handle this anymore. Don't know what to do. I know people who are seriously ready to get violent. And you know, you have to say to them, wait-wait-wait… now is not quite the time. (chuckles) I don't know, man.
YOPJ: Yeah. It would an impossible, ah… it would be an impossible fight anyway, in terms of direct action of that nature.
MM: Oh, I know, I know.
YOPJ: It would be, kind of a… kind of like a…
MM: Butchery.
YOPJ: Yeah.
MM: Yeah, yeah.
YOPJ: But things are… things are moving in a very odd direction and kind of a, probably, unprecedented direction in the United States. Not since… it's worse than the Red Scare, it's worse probably than the labor disputes of the '30s and prior to that like the 1890s, just in terms of the technologies that are available to the Powers That Be to wield against people who are going against the grain, say.
MM: That's right.
YOPJ: In terms of surveillance, in terms of putting down direct action of the nature that we were talking about earlier, with their, you know -- it sounds like goofy science fiction stuff, but -- sonic weapons and pain-wave weapons that were deployed at the Republican convention in New York in 2004. You know, just mass round-ups, dumping people into makeshift private prisons… If you want to see what it's going to be like across America, at least in urban areas, within the next couple of years if things don't change in a serious way and soon, all you have to do is go back and read news reports about what it was like to be in New York during the 2004 Republican convention, where people were arrested for no reason, just rounded up. They, the cops and also private security people would, uh… they had these orange plastic nets, literally netting people. They would show up on one side of the street, encircle a huge group of people and say 'Everybody in here', you know, 'is going to jail', basically. And then they were taken off to the docks, basically, and dumped into a toxic sludge dump, an old bus depot, and left there for two, three days, some people, and--
MM: Hey Jerky, I hate to interrupt you right in the middle of a thought, but we gotta do a break. We'll come back and we'll finish up on the other side. We're talking to our "at large" bureau chief, Jerky, who's phoned in from God knows where. Stay with us, I'm Mike Malloy, this is Air America.
(Cut to commercial break over Bob Dylan's 'Masters of War'; come back from commercials over Traffic's 'Can't Find My Way Home')
MM: Twenty-six before the hour and we're talking with Jerky, our "at large" bureau chief. Alright, Jerky, where were we?
YOPJ: Well, I think, uh… in the middle of despair, actually. But…
MM: (chuckles) Yeah, right. Up to our chins.
YOPJ: And I think it's justified, it's a justified despair because, you know, it seems to me like what we do, here and at places like DemocraticUnderground.com and on Air America Radio and in other various liberal and sometimes so-called liberal venues is, we're just kinda trying to make… we're like mice, trying to make out the shape of the owl that's eating us alive.
MM: Oh, God.
YOPJ: You know what I mean?
MM: (laughing) Yeah, I do.
YOPJ: And, uh… it's like, so what if we know what color the crest is above its nose, you know?
MM: Right, right.
YOPJ: It feels futile sometimes. And I don't mean to bring you down, or to bring your listeners down...
MM: Oh, no! (chuckles) That would never happen!
YOPJ: (chuckles) Yeah… But, you know, I've been doing a lot of deep reading about the different political philosophers behind some of the movements that are running us today, and trying… trying to distill what I've learned into as few words as possible, because it can get pretty dense and, uh… kind of ponderous. But I think what it boils down to, on the conservative side of things, is a difference in our understanding of what freedom means, of what it means to be free. And liberals, a group in which I count myself and I'm pretty sure you're a part of that, too--
MM: Oh, sure.
YOPJ: -- we see freedom as a good thing, even occasionally when it doesn't yield the very most, uh… docile of results in the short term.
MM: Right.
YOPJ: Freedom and truth are important. Conservatives see freedom... basically equate freedom with chaos.
MM: Right.
YOPJ: And the worst thing for a conservative is chaos. So when things change, when there's a flux, when there's… when there's, you know, a shakeup in the status quo, when order is disturbed, conservatives are upset, no matter whether that disturb… that perturbation will be for the better in the long run. There are some touchy issues related to this, one of them being religion. And, uh, it's the great dilemma… it's the single biggest obstacle to us getting justice in the United States over what's happened in the last six years. The fact that so many Americans, more than in any other nation including Islamic nations! America is the most religious nation in the world; the most developed and the most religious.
MM: That's a dangerous combination.
YOPJ: Absolutely.
MM: And when that religion is played upon the way Bush plays… Bush and his cronies play the Religious Right in this country like a harp. It's just amazing to see how quickly they get up and dance with this psychotic bastard every time he starts touting his own Christianity. But, you know, as far as chaos, I don't know. I think what you're saying, are you not, is that conservatives are not… it's not chaos they're afraid of, but the fear of chaos.
YOPJ: They like managed chaos. When you look at what they've done… you know, this administration is doing everything in its power to inculcate fear in us, in the population at large, then wielding that fear as their most powerful weapon against us, against freedom, which seems obvious when you look at what they're doing as a result of this fear. You know, it's like, 'Spy on everybody! We have to peek in everybody's windows to make sure nobody's building a nuke in their bedroom! We have to amass vast amounts of information about every single citizen in the United States, if not the world, because what if one of THEM slips through and does something bad?' You know? They're just, they… They're wielding this fear, very effectively I'm sad to say, as a weapon against us, against freedom, against centuries-old Constitutional guarantees and protections, against everything that America stands for, and basically against everything that stands in the way of their New World Order plan.
MM: M-hm.
YOPJ: I know that sounds kind of… that sets off alarm bells, 'New World Order plan' but there really is...
MM: Sure. Sure there is. And did you ever stop and think that there's never been any such thing as a liberal dictator?
YOPJ: Nope. That's true.
MM: It's impossible. They all have been absolute nationalistic conservatives. I don't care if it's been Stalin, or Hitler, or Pol Pot… I mean, just go down the list. Julius Cesar, Alexander the Great… it just doesn't make any difference. Genghis Khan, every single dictator. Not one was ever a liberal. And I think what they've done is project that horrible fear of the possibility of things falling apart, or the center not holding, or chaos. And so, in externalizing that fear, they force people into camps, and ovens, and regimentation and fear and war and death and destruction, and the entire human species suffers for it. They should be removed. There should be a way to literally excise conservatives, or, to be less brutal, conservative thought, from, uh… (chuckles) But then of course we're getting into mind control and we're just as bad as they are.
YOPJ: Well, I think when you look at the example of the anti-communist witch-hunts of the 50's… that might be a good model for liberals to look at.
MM: (laughs)
YOPJ: Because you couldn't be a communist -- not a Stalinist -- but you couldn't be a communist and hold any kind of position of any kind of authority in the United States in the 50's, 60's, 70's on, you know… a few tenured professors notwithstanding. And maybe it's time now for, especially neoconservative Straussian theory, which comes from… it comes out of Trotskyite thinking anyway!
MM: It is. Absolutely.
YOPJ: It completely emerged from Trotsky. So maybe it's time to look at not just banning Trotsky's old way of thinking, but also maybe the ways of thinking that have developed from those people who were Trotskyites to begin with.
MM: That's true. Jerky, thanks for the conversation. Always nice to hear from you.
YOPJ: Thanks Mike!
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Mike Malloy broadcasts live every weekday evening from ten to one o'clock, Eastern Time, from Atlanta, Georgia, across the vast and growing Air America Radio network. His show is also simulcast live on the Internet. Listen in, call in, and by all means, join the conversation. Mike Malloy does talk radio like you've never heard before. - YOPJ
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Send all Jokes, Letters and other stuff to Jerky:
jerkyleboeuf@gmail.com
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JOKES!
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Today's first joke was sent in by Jim Eby!
A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour.
The wife is behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.
"I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.
The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a far better lover than you are."
Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55 He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.
Up to 60.
"I want the car, too," he continues.
65 mph.
"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"
Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, the wife turns to him, smiles and says: "The airbag!"
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Thanks to our old pal Towjam for sending in today's second joke.
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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WORST JOKE OF THE DAY
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Today's groaner was sent in by Javaid...
If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday School class.
"NO!" the children all answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"
Again, the answer was, "NO!"
"Well then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them again.
Again, they all answered, "NO!"
"Well, I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"
A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"
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THEY SAID IT!
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"I am an inmate. I sometimes ask those friends of mine with jailhouse tattoos if they'd rather be back in jail, or here. So far, they are unanimous jail."
- Pfc. Mathew Scarano of Eureka, California, from a letter home he wrote in January, two months before he died, an apparent victim of the Pentagon's "Physical Training and Rehabilitation Program".
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"The supreme irony is that I was more worried about my son at Fort Sill than the one in Iraq."
- I strongly suspect Patricia deVarennes wasn't the only Mom who had a shitty Mother's Day this year.
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ON THIS DAY
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May 11
On this day in 1927, showbiz pioneer Louis B Mayer founds the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, without which we would have had no idea that The English Patient, Titanic and Shakespeare in Love are actually very good movies, despite all the evidence to the contrary.
On this day in 1916, renowned theoretical physicist Albert Einstein presents his Theory of General Relativity. The scientific community is rocked by the theory, in which Einstein contends that people who are related to each other tend to look alike.
On this day in 1969, American Terry Gilliam and brits Eric Idle, John Cleese, Terry Jones, Graham Chapman and Michael Palin merge identities to form the multi-tentacular comedy beast known as Monty Python's Flying Circus. "Ni."
On this day in 1969, rock group The Turtles play the White House. While belting out their biggest hit -- Happy Together -- totally wasted lead singer Mark Volman falls off the stage a grand total of 5 times, while a thoroughly embarrassed Richard Nixon stews darkly.
On this day in 1994, Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult premieres in France. You guessed it... chaos ensues.
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READER'S SOAPBOX!
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Got a gripe? Pet peeve? Have your say in the Daily Dirt! Columns can pretty much be about anything, as long they meet the following criteria: 1) don't write shit that'll get us in trouble. 2) Keep it interesting. 3) Keep it short. 4) We don't edit your mistakes. Oh yeah! feel free to send a picture of yourself if you want.
TOPIC: BIRD FLU FEVER
care of: Naveed
Do you know that 'bird flu' was discovered in Vietnam 9 years ago? Do you know that barely 100 people have died in the whole world in all that time? Do you know that it was the Americans who alerted us to the efficacy of the human antiviral TAMIFLU as a preventative?
Do you know that TAMIFLU barely alleviates some symptoms of the common flu? Do you know that its efficacy against the common flu is questioned by a great part of the scientific community? Do you know that against a SUPPOSED mutant virus such as H5N1, TAMIFLU barely alleviates the illness?
Do you know that to date Avian Flu affects birds only? Do you know who markets TAMIFLU?
ROCHE LABORATORIES.
Do you know who bought the patent for TAMIFLU from ROCHE LABORATORIES in 1996?
GILEAD SCIENCES INC.
Do you know who was the then president of GILEAD SCIENCES INC. and remains a major shareholder?
DONALD RUMSFELD, the present Secretary of Defence of the USA.
Do you know that the base of TAMIFLU is crushed aniseed?
Do you know who controls 90% of the world's production of this tree?
ROCHE LABORATORIES.
Do you know that sales of TAMIFLU were over $254 million in 2004 and more than $1000 million in 2005? Do you know how many more millions ROCHE can earn in the coming months if the business of fear continues?
So the summary of the story is as follows:
Bush's friends decide that the medicine TAMIFLU is the solution for a pandemic that has not yet occurred and that has caused a hundred deaths worldwide in 9 years.
This medicine doesn't so much as cure the common flu.
In normal conditions the virus does not affect humans.
Rumsfield sells the patent for TAMIFLU to ROCHE for which they pay him a fortune.
Roche acquires 90% of the global production of crushed aniseed, the base for the antivirus.
The governments of the entire world threaten a pandemic and then buy industrial quantities of the product from Roche.
So we end up paying for medicine while Rumsfield, Cheney and Bush do the business.
ARE WE CRAZY!? OR ARE WE IDIOTS!? AT LEAST PASS THIS ON SO THAT IT CAN BE KNOWN!!!
- Naveed
[Duly noted. - Jerky]
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FIRST AMENDMENT ZONE / ASK JERKY!
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MOPJerky, Keep in mind that I'm just a retired mechanic, not a scientist. Every time I turn on the TV, all I hear is "End of the World Shit", doom, doom. Two of the worst ones seem to be the dependence on oil and scarcity of arable land. It seems to me that the solution to both is already at hand. #1. Replace every oil, natural gas and coal fired power plant with nuclear. #2. Most desert areas will become gardens if they have enough water. Put a desalination plant powered by a nuclear reactor at the nearest seacoast and run a pipeline to the desert. #3. Put some big money, both Govt. and private, into developing the multitude of experimental power sources, some big, some small. #4. Stop bankrolling the research for hot fusion at this time. Untold millions have been pumped into it and it has produced not one amp of power into the grid. At this point, it's just a toy for the scientists. #5. Shut down the space program, it's another money-eating toy. I know, I know -- Nuclear power is dangerous. Tell that to France, tell it to the Japanese. Between us and the Russians, no telling how many submarine power plants could be used for this. As far as I know, they've only had two nuclear power plant accidents. Chernobyl and 3-mile Island. Both together killed less than 100 people. Both accidents were caused by stupidity and mistakes made by the operators. I know I'll probably be called an idiot, but that's my opinion. YOPKenny "B"
[I don't know, man. I'm not 100% against nuclear power, but Chernobyl is... Chernobyl. - Jerky]
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Hey Jerky; With all the spying going on, Do you know of any way we could possibly scramble our phone call so that TPTB would not be able to record it? Surely some tech savvy person out there could figured out a way to through a wrench in the NSA's spying program. Matt Dragon
[Any clues, people? - Jerky]
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Hi! Send me the list of girls in India to have fun. Subratta
[I think you'd be better equipped to do that than me. - Jerky]
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I am tired; what is the actual problem with this end time. i've try my best to stop myself from watching this sinful websites but i could not because of easy acesss and much of it on the net. i know one day i will die and my Creator will ask me of how i spent my life which i know i will be guilty but i believe u will be more guilty and u will sufer more for making all these available and hellfire will be your final abode. u've caused a big destructions in peoples life. remember this life is very temporal and we will be held accountable for all our doings. check out from this evil life life for death is a must for everybody wheather will like it or not. satanic agents ve taken over everywhere. we only need a strong decision to cease being an agent of lucifer; God is earnestly wating for our repentance. thank u and be of a good help to me .am tired of this sinful, ungodly and unholy life. A. Lekan
[Dude. Chill. - Jerky]
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Say, Jerky... Do you suppose it would be ok for the US Gov. to use Mexican Labor to build their 370 mile long fence, as long as they work on the south side and don't step over the line? - SofaKing
[I believe that's the only way it could work. - Jerky]
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Jerky, How about finding and publishing the address for the NSA? Then we could all send them our phone bills every month. Just think of the money it would save the tax payers since the NSA would no longer have to use all that expensive equipment to get our phone recoerd from the phone companies... Larry J.
[I could give you the address for the NSA... but then I'd have to kill you. - Jerky]
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mopj, yeah i was young and growing up about 35 clicks from Kent when tptb at the time sent in the stormtroopers to impose their will on anyone that did'nt see things the way jim rhodes et al. wanted. that fall i had to take ohio history as a requirement, and the teacher was really cool, almost a rebel at the time, you know longish hair sideburns and i never knew why but he seemed to have the reddest eyes most of the time, anyway at the end of the school year he showed us some color slides of things that had made it into the history books, one of the slides was Jeffery Miller laid out on the concrete with his blood running down the hill behind him, the same picture you had in the dirt that day except it was in color and had been taken less than a year before, you could have heard a pin drop in that room. I'm not going to name that teacher, he knows who he is and if still living is probably reading this site, he would'nt admit taking that pic but if he did'nt he was awful close to whoever did. man I've seen it happen before and nothing I've seen lately makes me think it won't happen again, maybe around time for the next general election, chaos could ensue, better have your shit together and be ready for whatever may come down. later, sniper 44
[If I need to have my shit together before the shit hits the fan, I'm in deep shit already. - Jerky]
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From zpfglu qwpjokc : xmulpbkq buszx bxhcoi tiwqr mnzloi ozyfdl ogqvwihe
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From ruthcruet : this was the only way to get a message over?????I hope!i cannot use this site due to the fact that no one has sent me a confermation email
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From Jerky : D'oh! Sorry Steve... you're right of course. I can't keep my 70's supergroups straight anymore.
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From Ginger Baker : Steve? Where the hell ya been man? I'm been wanting to do a Cream reunion for years now..... you up for that?
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From Little Stevie Winwood : Hey, Jerky, Traffic had temporarily disbanded and I was with Blind Faith when we recorded 'Can't Find My Way Home'.
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From SofaKing : Bob B, Numerous universities have tested these pills and they are almost 100% Napthalene, or in simpler terms, mothballs. This is really just a multi level marketing scheme that will not work and will take a lot of money out of the pockets of suckers looking to get rich quick... oh, yeah, and help the environment. NOT!
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From Bob Butler : Dear Jerky, I've think I've got a good scandel for you to check out. It is the gas pill , It does really work I believe the oil co. are flexing thier power and tryiny to put a good bussiness that helps everyone out of bussiness, because they could not buy them out.please help us. Bio performance is the company. Thanks & regards Please Check it out Robert Butler, It is not right what they are tring to do.
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From SofaKing : Larry J must not know that all the NSA has to do to get those 'expensive' records is to ask for them from our good friends at Amdocs. That is the Israeli based company that does the billing, and tracks call patterns, for 90+% of the calls made in the US.
And, Matt Dragon, two words... igpay atinlay...
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From Six : Yes! 2 freaks in one 'Dirt! First we have Subratta brandishing his Poonjabi looking for some sweet zhartapan and then we have A.Lekan blaming Jerky for his porn addiction. Hey Jerky- u've caused a big destructions in peoples life.
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From Legion : I agree - even though you were toasted Jerky you were very erudite! Love your work mate
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From PG : The mice trying to make out the owl that's eating them...fucking brilliant.
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