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POST-ELECTION FOLLIES
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Hey foax... Yer old pal Jerky was contemplating running an election blog again this year, but what do you know... it's already two weeks past! So, instead, here is a bunch of bullshit to divert and amuse you! I FUCKIN' LOVE YOU GUYS... AND PSYCHOACTIVE PHARMACEUTICALS!!! - YOPJ
Just an aside... At the proper volume, and with some well-chosen chemical accompaniment, Led Zeppelin's Houses of the Holy becomes a vehicle of pure sonic transcendence. Your nerves vibrate and jangle in synchronous resonance with the strings of Jimmy Page's guitar(s). Your bones rattle and your chest thumps with John Bonham's joyous, violent drum kit assaults. John Paul Jones' supple and slithery bass notes anchor you ankle-deep in liquid golden light, and Robert Plant's banshee howl pierces your sinuses and plunges directly into your neo-cortex. What a goddamn fucking amazing album.
Great news for all you Mike Malloy fans out there... after being unceremoniously dumped by Air America Radio (which then promptly went bankrupt), everybody's favorite fire-breathing talk-radio liberal is back on the air. Let's hope The Management gets it right this time.
Holy SHIT that's humiliating...
This is quite possibly the most batshit insane theatrical preview yer old pal Jerky has ever seen in his whole wretched farce of a life.
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Send all Jokes, Letters and other stuff to Jerky:
jerkyleboeuf@gmail.com
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JOKES!
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Today's first joke was sent in by Dave on Dope!
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
*** *** ***
Thanks to our old pal CT for sending in today's second joke.
An 18 year old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says "who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house, a mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother and the girl, and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You fuck her again."
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WORST JOKE OF THE DAY
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Today's groaner was sent in by Nan, and it takes the form of a news report about Sir Paul McCartney's woes...
It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic.
News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long"! She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped!"
"She's running around in circles", according to a close friend, "she will need all the support she can get. It's not like its easy to walk out on a relationship like this!"
After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather.
It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was sign ed prior to the marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on.
Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity may have been the cause. "She's terrible" a source stated, "always trying to get her leg over".
Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get home at night and find her legless!"
Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.
A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate "I'm f---ed, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says "try Paul McCartney"
Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:
I lay upon a grassy bank
My hands were all a quiver
I slowly removed her suspender belt
And her leg fell in the river.
Lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now she has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill her shoe.
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THEY SAID IT!
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"When I awoke on December 13, 2000, my first thought was -- this is the first day of the worst years of my life. I lay there, attempting in vain to come up with just one redeeming quality possessed by the foolish little brute illegally foisted upon this republic by five black-robed fascists -- just one sliver of hope for the American people to escape the impending disaster of corporate pillage and rape. There was none."
- Sheila Samples, writing for Political Cortex, expresses what yer old pal Jerky thinks is a pretty common sentiment.
*** **** ***
"I call on all Iraqis, Arabs and Kurds, to forgive, reconcile and shake hands."
- Deposed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, after being sentenced to hang for the killing of hundreds of Kurds during the Operation Anfal crackdown in the late 1980's, tries to make nice.
*** **** ***
"Saddam Hussein is sentenced to death, and, uh... before you kill the guy, could you just ask him how to straighten out that country?"
- Howard Stern, on his excellent Sirius satellite radio show, Monday, November 6, 2006.
*** **** ***
"From my point of view, I would ban religion completely. Organized religion doesn't seem to work. It turns people into really hateful lemmings and it's not really compassionate."
- Yer old pal Jerky hates agreeing with Elton John, but what can you do?
*** **** ***
"Madonna's adopted negro child will be making sex tapes with Britney's retarded babies. Celebrity life is grand."
- Anonymous, with good reason.
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CLASSIC DIRT
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Date: February 25th, 1999 -- proof of YOPJ's political non-partisanship!
JACKIE-O DROVE SECRET SERVICE WACKY-O!
Recently released files discovered by APB Online, a website specializing in security issues, suggest that Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis drove Secret Service agents bonkers with her conflicting orders and unreasonable demands. For instance, the much-widowed whiner once fired off a nasty letter to the organization's chief, demanding that agents stop "talking into their walky-talkies" and "tramping outside the children's windows all night long." She was quick to criticize, however, if the men in black ever screwed the pooch, once complaining that agents had "lost track of the children for two hours when they followed the wrong car out of the driveway." But beyond the temper tantrums and control freakery, the documents also suggest something more sinister. Some of the memos and letters give the distinct impression that Jackie, who enjoyed the royal treatment from her gilded cradle to her frigid grave, had somewhat of a mean streak when it came to her kids. When much lusted-after dum-dum John-John was roughed up and robbed of his bike and tennis racket, the wall-eyed living legend didn't seem to give a damn. "He must be allowed to experience life. I don't want him growing up to be a vegetable." Harsh words coming from a mother whose 14-year-old boy had just been knocked around by a gang of thugs in Central Park (not to mention the fact that John-John grew up to be a vegetable in spite of Jackie's unique approach to mothering). As for Caroline, in one written memo Jackie claims she would rather see her daughter shatter her bones in a horse-riding accident than live a life of sheltered comfort. Gee, Jackie... why bring it up in the first place?
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FIRST AMENDMENT ZONE / ASK JERKY!
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MOPJ; You have no idea (or maybe you do) how GLAD I am that there is even a hint of more Daily Dirt to come. I'm sure I am not alone when I say I would happily send you some cash if it meant that I would be able to continue reading the Dirt on a regular basis. Don't be too proud to beg. Your published list of other sites/blogs to tide us over is all fine and dandy, but they just ain't got that magic sum-thin', that CHAR-AZZ-MAH! You know how alotta times soft drinks at the drive-thru are kinda watery with lots of ice, and sometimes the mix is funky and you think to yourself silently "did they give me diet?" - but you really don't care because you're already burning outta the parking lot late for work. Then one day you're at some sorta get-together and the host has Mexican Coca-cola
in the BOTTLE, served cold enough that whispery little ice crystals form when you pop the top, then you take a swig and its fuckin' AMAZING!!! YOU, my friend, are that bottle of Coke. The perfect blend served JUST right! Those other sites are just regular drinks out of the can, or fountain. A couple of them are austere enough to qualify as Diet Pepsi, or carrot juice. "The only man who is truly bankrupt is the one who has run out of ideas for
making money." - Me, just now!
[Dude, I know what you mean about Mexican Coca-Cola, and I'm flattered. - Jerky]
*** **** ***
Dearest Jerky, Thanks for doing your thing and letting all of your reader know a little about you over the past years. It's been my pleasure, my friend. You are right about your blog, being a much lighter and more humorous before we were invaded from within. That election really hurt us all. That's the good fight now; to not let these nut jobs "in power" continue to hurt us anymore by robbing us of our sense of humor. Keep The Faith, PETEfromOJAI
[Thanks Pete. - Jerky]
*** **** ***
Dear Jerky, The last issue of Daily Dirt left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. Even though I had sort of smelled a rat, I hoped that somehow you could solve your problems. Reading the Dirt has been a great pleasure for 5 or 6 years (or more?). You are an intelligent guy with a good sense of humor. I used to go everyday to your website to see if there was a new issue because I didn’t get it all time in the e-mail. Of course I looked at all the free pictures as well! Even today I did so. I have not much more to say. I wish you all the best and, if it happens that you decide to come for a vacation in Seychelles, just drop me an e-mail. I’d really like to meet you. Sincerely: Franco Esposito
[I appreciate the sentiment, Franco -- and the invite! -- but that wasn't technically the "last" edition of the Dirt. I was just explaining my protracted absence, and the slow-down in publication schedule. - Jerky]
*** **** ***
My ol' friend... As a friend, ya gotta take care of yourself first. Just the law. If you die the work sure won't get done. Something I remind myself from time to time. So get out, get a life loose some of those el-beees just don't loose any weight in that massive scrotum of yours. When everyone else on the goldern earth was scared to even dream bad thoughts of either puppet or puppeteer, you were slogging out the shit to anyone who could handle tits and ass on the sidelines. Hey maaan, the sentiments in the recent Dirt echo in my heart.
Your faithful reader, Anam
[You're far too kind, sir. - Jerky]
*** **** ***
Welcome back, a little late... To paraphrase, it is because of people like you that I know I am alive
and well and not living solo in a nightmare. You will be missed even by my 'femanazi' spousal unit. She would send
around your best political stuff, and some of the jokes. Some of your other stuff resulted in broken coffee cups.
Take care of yourself. Mac
[Okay, but we ain't buried yet! Keep checking this space! - Jerky]
*** **** ***
Hey Jerk, I've been reading your crap for years now and I just hope you don't get shut down before your predictions get proven true. Cause gawd damn man I've stuck with you this far and I'll be damned if I stop! Keep on keeping on, and if it makes you feel any better I'd rather read about politics than Madonna getting a new African kid and making it believe in what ever magic shit it is they believe. Adam0s
[I'll try, man. - Jerky]
*** **** ***
Re: Kenron Lay's conviction reversal... Wow, and to think that WTC building 7 fell do to the terrorist, all the Enron case paper work was at! Odinski
[Convenient, ain't it? - Jerky]
*** **** ***
Yes or no? Are we a Christian Nation? If "No", do we at least espouse Christian ideals? If yes, then how does this fit in? The Bush administration has told a federal judge that "terrorism suspects held in secret
CIA prisons should not be allowed to reveal details of the 'alternative interrogation methods' that their captors used to get them to talk... even to their own attorneys." Administration lawyers also argue in court papers that detainees previously held in CIA sites "have no right to speak to lawyers because the new Military Commissions Act, signed by President Bush last month, stripped these suspects of access to U.S. courts." So, you guys thought you had it bad before? Well, now all your spouse or "significant other" has to do is contact our FBI or CIA (better choice) and
"report" your "terrorist" activities and you go to jail with no rights at all. Yee-haw! Well, she just has to be a bit creative about it, and bingo, you're gone! It is the law according to this Republican (not really conservative) administration. It is Bush's Law. Read it yourself, and weep. And I was a Bush supporter, too. I am now sorry. Jenny
[Some shit can't be un-crapped. - Jerky]
*** **** ***
Hey Jerky Did it ever occur to you your site is biting the big one is because instead of trying to be humorous you were getting boring being a left wing version of Rush Limbaugh. ATB Steve
[I only wish I was the left wing version of Rush Limbaugh. - Jerky]
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From mazda : c13t
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From mazda : c23t
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From Jourgenz : Hi.
It's test. This site was probably down...
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From john b : The Jerkmeister is simply one of the best things that ever happened to the internet. I'd trade a million blogs to see the DD continue.
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From smackbutt : Don't worry Jerky.... I still love you and will wait patiently for your update however long it takes.
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From Six : Yeah Original Anon. I think it's time to start formulating off the wall conspiracy theories again. I'll be the first to say he's working a gloryhole somewhere and with all those peters zipping in and out of the barrel he hasn't had a chance to update the Dirt.
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From jp : woh!tahta something
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From original anon : Wow, s h i t, people helping each other out. Maybe the good Karma will bring back OOPJ. Just kidding, bummer is he's gone for good. I really feel bad, cause he must have croaked or something to not even let his old buddies know what happened to him...
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From DP : Cdl is federal.
Try nolo dot com. for free or for $$ roadlaw dot com.
or google "cdl law (your state)"
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From Leonardo DaVinci wasting his hours : "Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask.
Everything you want also wants you.
But you have to take action to get it."
~ Jules Renard
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From Beudreaux : Driving license laws differ from state to state. If you were in California, as an example, I would recommend that you telephone DMV support or go to their website. Have you gone online in your states DMV website?
If you think your problem is semi-simple and just need quick legal advice, call an attorney (or several) until you find one who will answer your question over the phone. Also, Craigslist has a 'legal' area where lawyers supply email addy's for questions.
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From daddybear : Hey guys and girls been awhile huh well ol'daddybear been one busy MOFO the past week or so working on a career change and i need some help . do any of y'all know anything about law??? cause I have run into a strange and unusal legal snag while trying to get my CDL and could really use some advice .Those of you that know me write me at my yahoo addy if ya can help . And if i don't get back here before the holiday ! MERRY CHRISTMAS to Y'all From the daddybear family!
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From Legion : Jerky Maaaaaaaan where is the update....Its killin me
Seriously I hope you are getting into your festive spicy cheese balls or getting A LOT of skirt (or both as sex and food kinda go together) for you to be so tardy in updates.
Its cruel dude. we love you and need dirt updates I slavishly check twice a day for updates and yet you deny me. what will it take to get this situation resolved? At least lets get RSS on here so I can tell when you have updated the site without the pain of seeing the same o
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From billbudd : Seriously, Jerky, I don't know if you have the authority but could you please pull the plug. I check everyday and dumb-rums face is getting old. The Dirt has been in a coma far too long. Just do it! Pull the plug! Life sucks and everything dies.
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From billbudd : I can't believe my once favorite website has turned into a stale pile of soap-opera sh*t.
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From DP : suck the teat electric.
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From Pizza guy :
Talk about going out with a whimper...........
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From Chuck U Farley : Does anybody actually read the comments anymore? Hello? Anybody here? (echo....)
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From Pert : just stumbled over this site! sounds like I've missed some seriously
good s**t??
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From Sixpuppet : I am here Mutant Chakra.
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From DP : Godzilla bless you all.
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From resort casino : Take care of it and keep it on the road!
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From loan online : I glad too see this interest site, I tell my friends about it! They like sites like that site
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From Depth : It is not the depth of this world we are seeking, but of the world beyond your imagination.
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From Beer run : That's what we are..... CONSUMERS. Even local news stations spend half their broadcasting time shilling for Corporate.
Unless you have kids somewhere in the background (your own or grandkids etcetera) it's pretty tough getting into the holiday spirit.
I surprised myself this year that I was able to do it. I too will rent Funhouse.
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From ThousandDemons : And like I said before (although it's more likely that the fat man with the beard and large red sack will come down my chimney than this fat man coming back to the Dirt), JERKY, UPDATE, you fat m@therf*ker!
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From current mortgage rate : Perfect site! Anything superfluous, all is laconic and beautiful. Thanks!
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From ThousandDemons : Xmas spirit? I live in JAPAN! This country HAS no HOLIDAYS, much less Xmas spirit!
Mostly they just have Santas and trees up to SELL sh!t.
Still, will have to look up Anipals and Funhouse.
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From Six : Go rent/download Funhouse at the nearest opportunity. No, it wasn't a kid's show. Unless you think hard drug references, beastiality, and other exotic forms of sex are for kids. And if that's the case, yeah, I guess it was a kid's show.
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From Beer run : YOU'RE GONNA SUCK OUT SOMEBODIES SPINAL FLUID? GAK! lol
I've never seen 'Funhouse'.... I think I've seen it listed on the comedy channel on cable. Thought it was a kids show but apparently I must be mistaken.
I've been Xmas shopping all day and that always sorta gets me in the mood. Spent a shitload of money though....
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From Six : Ever seen that Funhouse with the Anipals when they suck the spinal fluid out of Doug and extract the Christmas cheer from it? Well, I think that's what I need to do.
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From Beer run : You lacking the Christmas spirit Six? Come on.... whats wrong. Let's talk about it.
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From Six : Yeah, I guess it is pathetic, and yeah, a waaabulance sounds good about right now.
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From Beer run : Sounds like somebody should call 911 and get Six a waaabulance.
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From Six : Yeah, it's been a while. Mutant Chakra is actually Frank, Chuck is a Farley, and Ballrub will always be back. Beer Run is a sockpuppet, and Six is omniscient and drunk. With no pills. That's how he is, guey.
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From Beer run : I just looked Chuck. It appears that they were all from the same person. Or perhaps two people at the most.
Was kinda weird though.
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From Chuck U Farley : Check out the comments block from the last issue. The Spambots have been very hard at work, & now it seems they speak German too.
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From ballrubs ghost : HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo
whooooo?
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From yO bALL rUB THIS IS lADYtHUNDER : FUCNK YOU WE DON'T NEED YOU?? YOU AIN'T (YEAH i SAID "AIN'T" WHAT THE DIRT IS ABOUT!!
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From ballrubs ghost : Woooooooooooooooooooooo Woooooooooooooooooooooooo Oooooooooooooooooooo!
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From Beer run : Whew. I thought he was NEVER gonna leave!
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From ballrub : Looks like Jerky gave up on us! No REAL explanation, no weekly (now--not even monthly) updates! THIS SUCKS THE BIG ONE!!!!
I'm outta here! Not coming back either! So there!
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From Retired : I'm in the Bahama's drinking Pena Coladas with little umbrellas....leave me alone.
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From FireFox : Ok, enough of this bullshit. Just pull the plug on this damn thing. You bastards aren't going to tell us the story of what happened to Jerky. Money this, money that...bullshit. You even went as far as to have one of the lackeys sign up as Jerky in the group. Anybody who read Jerky knows whomever is posing is doing a piss-poor job, so please, just give it a rest.
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From LADYTHUNDER : Shit, so I got happy for nothing, I thought he was back. Something is better than nothing, but that doesn't apply to Jerky. Hey, I think I can say I've been reading the dirt since 1999. Is that possible, has he been around that long. I remember I used to print them and put them in a binder.
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From Chuck U Farley : Here we go again...(deep breath)...He's the Jerky with the Power! What Power? The Power of the Update! What Date? Who Date? Udate? Moo Date? Mutantchakragate? Huh? What? OHTOFUCKINGHELLWITHIT!!! It's been over a month. FRACKING UPDATE ALREADY!!!
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From ThousandDemons : I thought he said that he was going to update once/weekly.
It's been far longer.
Come on, Jerky...quit fargin' around. Give me something even CLOSE to my fix!
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From online black jack : Cool design, great info!
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From Provost : Time to retire. It happens to the best of us.
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From anolpal : We'll update after 'chew&chat'
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From onlinefriend : DO NOT UPDATE
SHEER TERROR
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From Ladythunder : Well! A man could tell me he wants 6 kids. I'll look at him and save him the headache, I'll give him the first one, wear condoms on the next 2, abort the next 2, and throw myself down the stairs on the last one (that was more for comic relief..I'll just jimmy him up and take my pills, I'd rather be fat on birth control, then sending some sorry letter to a stranger hoping they can provide for my kid what I can't, I mean some kids ask for jackets and food). wtf is that.
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From Six : Never. That's why I didn't suggest it. ) But Tinella could be on to something. Maybe six kids and a wife drives men to an early grave. What was that classic worst joke? Why do men die before women? Because they want to.
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From original anon : Well, my Mom had six kids many years ago Six (I'm old), and her husband just happened to crap out on her. Didja ever think of that?
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From Tinella : I've only had two kids and I'm worn out at times working and being a single mom.
Maybe their just too tired to work after having SIX? lol
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From Six : Perhaps some of these women with 6 kids have suffered horrible tragedies, like the death of a spouse who worked hard to support them all.
Yeah right. Who am I kidding...they're welfare loafers. My income's below the poverty line but they get all the federal funding. Leeches.
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From LADYTHUNDER AKA MARIA : CAN I SAY BAH HUMBUG ON HERE. Im sorry - no funk that Im noT going to apologize. I have no pitty for funcking women with 6 kids that cna't make a decent christmas for their kids (that is one of the dear santa letters my coworker is trying to fulfill). who the funk told you to have 6 kids. my coworkers think poorly of me (like I care) becuae Im not bringing in a toy, or a coat, or helping to wrap a present for poor little Julio and his 2 sisters. I need all my money and time to buy my daughter her Nine
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From LADYTHUNDER : I've been naughty all year and had nothing to look forward to for Christmas, until it occured to me, oh shit, did Jerky ever come back, and you did. and I feel happy, your my christmas present, ha take that st. prick. Maria got a present after all.
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From Farley U Chuck : Moron. up. way our work & first postings bottom the read to enough know us of Most backwards? words your say always you do BTW, this. like you by out called be to embarrassed so I'm lamer! A MC! original, How
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From ballrub : MOPJ...can't you see from the rambling of the masses that we need an update? Please...for the sake of all our sanity, PLEASE UPDATE THE DIRT!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!
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From ThousandDemons : Chuck Chuck Chuck, you're stating what we can all see for ourselves. Mutant needs treatment from professionals. And/or a life of their own.
And yeah, UPDATE, fuckit!
Or is this one episode Jerky's swansong?
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From Chuck U Farley : You are so what, Mutant Chakra? Stupid? Lame? Retarded? Franked in the Head? In serious need of a, (or feeling a little empty from your recent) Lobotmy? Common, M.C! (or IS it Frank?) give us a hint here! This one word at a time BS just dont cut it, ya dig?
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From indiana casino : Here is intresting people... Lets talk!
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From Six : I am here Mutant Chkra...
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From daddybear : Yup sure are Six Me thinks me hit a nerve huh Jerky?
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From Six : Whoa-ho-ho. Looks like comments are getting deleted again.
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From Yo The Real Daddybear Here : Hey guys I ain't been on this B!tch since Friday afternoon! Looks like you been talkin to a Frank /Sally suck puppet!!!!
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From daddybear : Merry Christmas. If you know the words to these songs, you might want to seek professional help..
CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED
* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are
* 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
* 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
* 5. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses an
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From Six : Sofaking and Mutant Chakra...use some sockpuppets if you do...
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From Chuck U Farley : UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!
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From Chuck U Farley : UPDATE!
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From SofaKing : You're right, Mutant chakra. Maybe we should all go over to Rose Colored Glasses. I hear there are some great and non-boring things there.
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From Sixpuppet : Wait a second...maybe it will let me post twice from the same IP if I wait a few hours...
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From Sixpuppet : UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!
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From NOVALIS : A shoot will spring from Jesse's stock, and all mankind will see the saving power of God.
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From SofaKing : I am Wee Todd Did
I am Sofaking
Wee Todd Did
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From Six : This is crazy. There is no way to fight this! My head is spinning and spinning. Can I lie down with you daddybear?
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From Chuck U Farley : WTF is going on? Now people are stealing each other's names to make comments?!? And who let the Teenage Mutant Chakra Turtle back in, anyway? Comon, Jerky. We're going mental, maaaaaaan. Throw us a frigggin bone, here!
UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!
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From Sofaking : Wow, I got deleted. Here is what I posted and saw a few minutes ago Sorry about your sitch', daddybear, but that post about your kids is from an imposter. I would never ask a personal question like that.Unless it was something like "Do you still use outhouses and corncobs for toilet paper?" or some crass stuff like that. You Carolina hillbillyP
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From SofaKing : Sorry about your sitch', daddybear, but that post about your kids is from an imposter. I would never ask a personal question like that.
Unless it was something like "Do you still use outhouses and corncobs for toilet paper?" or some crass stuff like that. You Carolina hillbillyP
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From daddybear : I've had a tough day. Im going go lie down.
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From daddybear : Its mutant. What are we gonna do? This is all so confusing to me.
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From Six : Daddybear that second Six is an imposter. The "Files doesn't let me post from the same IP address twice in a row.
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From SofaKing : You aren't losing custody of your kids are you?
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From daddybear : That F@cking exwife ofmine served restraining order on me today because of my finacial situtaion so Im not in the best mood.
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From NOVALIS : A shoot will spring from Jesse's stock, and all mankind will see the saving power of God.
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From ENTRANCE ANTIPHON : The Lord has done great things for us we are filled with joy.
PSALM 126
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From Anonymous : The way of Christ'leadstolife' acontrary way 'leadstodestruction' The Gospel parable of the two ways remains ever present in the catechesis of the Churchit shows the importance of moral decisions for our salvation"There are two ways, the one of life, the other of deathbut between the two, there is a great difference."
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From daddybear : Why the f@ck you doing me like that Six? I ain't afraid of that mutant guy as much as you think!
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From Six : You want a piece of me Mutant? I'm right here. I'm not one of those little bitches like Sally or Sindy. I'm a MAN. I can take your crap. You'll never get to me like you did Daddybear... I ain't him.
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From Six : I'm here Mutant Chakra...
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From daddybear : Hell Six No offense taken bro! and Chuck you got it ! UPDATE!UPDATE!UPDATE!UPDATE!UPDATE! Oh and Sally unlike you having you pimp yo @ss out to Third World field worker for 50 cents a F@ck! My finacial situtaion is doing well enough So I can't now hire YOUR Mother to work in my dungeon! Enjoy the dildo and when your done. Six may put you in The Yawning Anus photo section as B!tch Boy of the Month!
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From fla man : im sorry six i should of said at the request of yopj
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From Sally : Thanks for the gift DonkeyBear, but I really think the light company would have appreciated a check, hate to see you cut off again.
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From Six : Chuck, I meant that you don't regularly surround yourself with an e-ntourage (sic). Major Asshole was a good statement in light of all the Sally-forthing going on at the time, but I never see strangers saying "Yeah, Chuck's right...f@ck those who disagree." Now let me add my voice to the choir here.
UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!
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From uptonoc : some day we'll be together agian. Man I miss the dirt
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From Chuck U Farley : Six, I already admitted to creating the Major Asshole sockpuppet. I'm pretty sure Sally & the Mutant Chackra belong to Frank. Dunno about the rest. (Yes I still say Frack Frank!) What did you mean by "stable & consistent," anyway? I check the DF & Dirtspawn postings daily, but make comments purely at random.
P.S. UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! (Help me out here, Daddybear!)
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From Six : I suggest Yawning Anus, Original Anon.
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From original anon : Well Six, I've got a boner for a new 'Dirt myself. And you know Jerky is long gone when the pron links at the real DD are dead, like most of them are now. What a major bummer. No Jerky to read. Roger Ebert is out of commission too. What's a guy to read?
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From Six : Point taken old pal. Wait that sounds bad... I mean, I get it. Now wait, that sounds bad too.
I wonder though if these sockpuppets might be the work of someone besides Frank. I thought he was banned anyway. They're too refined to be Daddybear concoctions (no offense Daddybear) and ThousandDemons, Original Anon, Beaudreaux and Firefox don't post enough to bring a harem with them. Ballrub seems to only get anxious when he's got a boner for a 'Dirt, Chuck U. is stable and consistent, and Mutant Chakra
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